


Maybe I should visit you

by themoonowl



Series: A Real Hero [21]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Mass Effect 3, POV Kaidan Alenko, Post-Mass Effect 2, Pre-Mass Effect 3, Unresolved Tension, Vancouver, Walking, mixed first/second person POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonowl/pseuds/themoonowl
Summary: Samed is locked up somewhere in Vancouver. A question burns on Kaidan's mind for six months.Playing again with that first/second person POV.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: A Real Hero [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1429021
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Maybe I should visit you

The air had a sort of edge to it. Made sense, early November it always got that way. Though, guess it was a bit cold for another long walk that might turn up something. Or nothing, as it always did.

I didn’t know where they’d put you. It was too obvious to be Alliance HQ, but. I had a higher rank now. I had connections, I could ask, find out. 

No. Bad idea.

So I walked. Sunset, Gastown, Commercial Drive, even around my place; took the scenic route home every day. I walked alone, rain, snow, a clear sky, it didn't matter.

I'd eye up every building, every house. Maybe you’d see me out your window or. Maybe I’d see you? Maybe I’d get a call one night while I walked and it’d be you, telling me—no, that was dumb. Military arrest didn’t allow outside contact unless specifically requested.

Maybe I should visit you, then.

It was a bad idea. I mean, what would I even say?  _ “Hey, I know things got heated between us on Horizon but now that you're locked up, I came to—” _ Nah, that was terrible. Was it true, though? You turned yourself in and I—well, you worked for Cerberus then, I couldn't just be—nice or something. Couldn’t pretend you weren’t working for literal terrorists.

I could've at least tried.

You were gone for two years, what would I have done anyways? Just walk up to you and, I don’t know. Told you how I spent those two years pulling myself back together because, hey, I realized that was actually a date we went out on? That hey, I realized about a year after you went MIA that I'd caught feelings? If you were looking at me right now through some window, if you knew what I was thinking… 

…Were you? Thinking of me?

A knot pulled at my stomach. Probably not. Not after everything that happened on Horizon. Not after everything I said back there.

Maybe I should visit you, then.

We'd talk things through. I had a lot of questions. I wanted to understand. I wanted to know if that's still you they were holding there. I wanted to know if the guy I beat at pool, the guy I fought side by side with—if he was you.

That was dumb. It  _ was  _ you, of course it was. Everything you did screamed You. You were alive now. In the same city, too.

Maybe I  _ should  _ visit you, then.

I pulled up my omni, Anderson’s picture showed up on the display and. My heart sank to my stomach.

Maybe I shouldn't. It's been almost half a year since you turned yourself in. You've probably moved on. It didn't seem fair to just. Bring that whole baggage up.

Walking through the streets didn't feel the same anymore. Of course I wouldn't see you, I mean, Vancouver was a big place, you know? You wouldn't see me either. Maybe it was for the best. We'd both move on, both of us different people since we first met.

One day my omni rang. Anderson, with a request for a hearing. A hearing that you'd be there for too, something about Reapers.

Of course I said yes. Of course I spent the day before making sure my hair would look right, that I’d wash my best uniform, that I’d put on some cologne. I’d see you for god’s sake, after six months. Though, it’d probably be longer for you. Unless you’ve seen me walk past one night. Unless you noticed me in that courtroom. Unless—another knot in my stomach. This was dumb.

Then you stood there, your hair in a big, messy, round kind of hairdo, every curl going its own way.  _ It has a mind of its own, _ that’s what you told me once. And it was still your full lips, still your chocolate eyes. I wasn’t looking at them through a screen this time. And they—you seemed. Happy.

It was—it felt good to see you. For a moment—for a moment I felt like I could just run my fingers through those curls, pull you close, see how you’d. How you’d feel.

You walked past and gave me one of those smiles you used to give, that same smoky smell of burnt wires trailing behind you.

That knot in my stomach untied.

I’d wait out your hearing, ask you where they're keeping you. We’d talk, joke around, just like old times and I’d visit you every—

A loud roar shook the whole building, then a loud crackle as all of the windows shattered at once. The smell of copper and eezo stank through the air. Just like. Just like on Virmire. Which meant—

Everything darkened, like a big shadow looming over the building. 

Reapers. 

Here.

Now.

Right when. Right when I finally saw you. Right when I finally—

_ Shit. _

I radioed Joker and ran to the Normandy as fast as I could. Radioed Anderson too and I could hear your voice in the background. You'd made it out alive. Of course you did _ , you can't die again, damnit. Not this time. _


End file.
